In this Teen Dating Advice post, I would like to discuss non verbal communication. Good communication is the basis for success in life whether it be socially or professionally. However, research shows that most communication occurs with more than words. According to UCLA, up to 93% of our communication is nonverbal. Another word for nonverbal communication is body language which includes posture, hand gestures, facial expressions and voice tonality.
Tonality
Tonality is in reference to the way you deliver your words which includes speed, volume, inflection, and the pitch of your voice. When we speak, the tonality of our words can indicate emotions that would otherwise be hidden. Think about how at times when you instant message or text message a friend you sometimes have difficulty in figuring out whether a statement is sarcastic or in anger. The tone of our voice really helps with indicating our feelings.
Volume
You need to be louder! LOUDER! Most men tend to be too quiet. This is all the more important if you find yourself in a loud venue. Really try to project your voice so as to really increase the intensity and volume of your voice. This is important as a timid or low speaking voice can be seen as someone who is apprehensive, nervous or weak. On the other hand a commanding, strong voice portrays confidence which is something both, men and women alike, like to surround themselves around.
When meeting someone would you have give them a limp-wristed handshake? Doubt it… so when you initially interact with a woman, make sure she doesn’t ask you to repeat yourself constantly.
If you are with a group of people, especially if you are with other men, don’t allow others to talk over you or to interrupt you. If someone tries to talk over you, just remain confident, and continue talking until you are done with your thought.
Speed
Think of the tortoise and the hare and follow the moral of the story, which is to pace yourself!
For the majority of men, the problem is that they are too quick to the draw. What’s new, right ladies? Understand that there is no need to rush yourself and spit out your thoughts like a machine gun. Doing so suggests that you are either stressed or nervous. It also indicates that you may not really believe what you have to say is interesting to others.
Keep this Teen Dating Advice point in mind the next time you speak with someone: Take a deep breath and the next time you speak to a woman make sure to consciously slow down your delivery. This will make it easier for other to understand you.
Pitch
Your voice should come from your chest. This will make it come out a bit deeper, which will help you exude sexiness and confidence. If it comes from the throat then your voice will come out weak and a bit soft.
Inflection
Inflection is the use of the musical quality of our voice to modify a word or series of words – basically the ups and downs in verbal communication. Inflection is an important part of non verbal communication because it can change the entire meaning of what you are saying.
For example,
“I think you’re great”
Reading that you would think the message is pretty straightforward, but why don’t we take a closer look.
If I said:
“I THINK you’re great” with emphasis on moving your voice up towards the end of ‘think’, then it would imply that you are possibly confused as to whether you really think the person is great or not. On the other hand if you say “I think you’re GREAT” with emphasis on ‘great’, it would imply that you really think the person is great.
What this means is that it’s not what you say, but the manner in which you say it. You neither want to come off as being too flat and disinterested nor do you want to be melodramatic and over the top.
Stay tuned for Teen Dating Advice – the next post will be on body language as it pertains to posture, facial expression and hand gestures.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
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